NOEL'S ADVENTURES THROUGH HISTORY


Throughout the ages, Noel has been party to many history-making moments. Join him as he relives these incredible events that helped to shape the world in which we live today.


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13.7 Billion Years Ago

Noel, the Celestial Sphere, is born.

330 Million Years Ago

Noel builds the very first treehouse.

290 Million Years Ago

Noel hates Pangaea.


65 Million Years Ago

Dinosaurs find it difficult to compete with Noel for resources.


3 Million Years Ago

Noel teaches Lucy to play jacks.


790 Thousand Years Ago

Noel brings fire to man.


300 Thousand Years Ago

A wooly mammoth gets stuck in one of Noel's rolls.


12 Thousand Years Ago

Noel helps Siberian nomads across the land bridge to Alaska.


4844 BCE

Noel invents the wheel.


4109 BCE

Noel domesticates the cat.


2264 BCE

Noel builds Stonehenge.


1800 BCE

Noel is an early practitioner of yoga.


1229 BCE

The Greek army tries to sneak Noel through the gates of Troy.


1219 BCE

Theseus searches for the Noelotaur in the labyrinth.


950 BCE

Noel becomes a master sculptor among the Olmec.


588 BCE

Noel spends the day with his friend Siddhartha.


303 BCE

Noel dresses in drag to become one of the Vestal Virgins.


260 BCE

Where would Euclidean geometry be without Noel?


218 BCE

Noel accompanies Hannibal across the Alps.


6 CE

It's the first Noel!


17 CE

Noel is widely admired for his ulama ballgame skills.


33 CE

Noel eats the Last Supper.


122 CE

The Roman emperor commissions Noel to build Hadrian's Mall.


454 CE

Noel is ostracized by the Ostrogoths.


506 CE

Noel forms the first didgeridoo jam band.


600 CE

Noel visits Great Zimbabwe.


840 CE

Noel's couture hairshirts are a must-have for fashion-conscious ascetics.


962 CE

Noel's coronation at Aachen marks the start of the Noely Roman Empire.


1045 CE

Noel is present at the invention of the printing press.


1066 CE

Noel fights at the Battle of Hastings.


1090 CE

Noel pioneers the Rubaiyat.


1119 CE

Noel introduces Abelard and Heloise.


1121 CE

Noel is one of the master builders at Angkor Wat.


1134 CE

Noel serves as a counterweight on an early large-scale trebuchet.


1182 CE

Noel helps Maimonides edit his Guide for the Perplexed.


1348 CE

The plague years are tough for Noel.


1417 CE

Noel draws the first Aztec calendar.


1427 CE

Noel is Joan of Arc's hair stylist.


1460 CE

Noel raises llamas in the mountains around Machu Picchu.


1503 CE

Noel and Hieronymus Bosch take a lot of drugs together.


1517 CE

Noel nails ninety-six theses to the door of Castle Church.


1545 CE

Noel woos Henry VIII.


1550 CE

The Haudenosaunee flourishes under the Great Peacemaker, Hiawatha, and Noel.


1611 CE

Noel performs in The Winter's Tale.


1620 CE

Noel eats the first Thanksgiving.


1636 CE

Tulipomania hits Noel particularly hard.


1649 CE

Noel can't stop giggling at the name Rump Parliament.


1651 CE

Noel is the inspiration for Thomas Hobbes's The Leviathan.


1654 CE

Noel visits the Taj Mahal.


1666 CE

Isaac Newton discovers gravity moments before Noel falls on his head.


1692 CE

Noel makes accusations about the women of Salem.


1702 CE

Noel battles all 47 ronin.


1753 CE

Noel breaks the Liberty Bell.


1774 CE

Oh boy! She's gonna let Noel eat cake!


1776 CE

Noel crosses the Delaware.


1793 CE

Jacques-Louis David paints the death of Jean-Noel Marat.


1811 CE

Noel's interest in Luddism is not very philosophical.


1815 CE

Noelpoleon loses at Waterloo.


1833 CE

Noel invents the antimacassar.


1835 CE

Noel helps Darwin with his research.


1839 CE

This image is one of the very first daguerreotypes.


1845 CE

Noel is drawn West by his Manifest Density.


1846 CE

Karl Marx steals Noel's theories.


1860 CE

Noel's Haberdashery makes all of Lincoln's stovepipe hats.


1867 CE

Noel badgers William H. Seward to buy Alaska.


1878 CE

Noel advises Queen Victoria and Benjamin Disraeli.


1882 CE

Nellie Bly gets her first assignment at the New York World.


1886 CE

Noel helps set up the Statue of Liberty when it arrives from France.


1891 CE

Noel is dreadfully scandalized by the advent of bloomers.


1893 CE

Grover Cleveland serves two non-consecutive dinners to Noel.


1894 CE

Noel inspires Oscar Wilde to write The Importance of Being Earnest.


1899 CE

Noel delivers a shipment of pitchblende to Marie Curie's lab.


1901 CE

Noel lobbies for universal voting rights.


1903 CE

Noel pilots the first flight of the Kitty Hawk.


1909 CE

Noel scrimmages with Jim Thorpe.


1911 CE

Noel tries his hand at Cubism.


1916 CE

Noel kills Rasputin.


1920 CE

Noel stars in several silent firms with Louise Brooks.


1922 CE

Noel helps Rorschach to develop his inkblot test.


1925 CE

Clarence Darrow calls Noel to the stand as an expert in primate biology.


1929 CE

Noel crashes into the New York Stock Exchange.


1930 CE

Noel observes deep-sea life from inside the first bathysphere.


1932 CE

Noel discusses tort reform with Judge Learned Hand.


1935 CE

Noel has a great solution to Australia's cane beetle problem.


1937 CE

Noel sets back George Washington Carver's research.


1938 CE

Noel listens to the first broadcast of War of the Worlds.


1946 CE

Noel is Gandhi's optometrist.


1946 CE

Noel inspires the song Roly Poly.


1952 CE

Rosalind Franklin and Noel work on a model of DNA.


1954 CE

Noel ties Joe McCarthy's shoelaces together.


1954 CE

Noel's fight to save Tokya from Godzilla is made into a documentary.


1955 CE

Noel chats with Rosa Parks at the bus stop.

1958 CE

Noel stars in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.


1961 CE

Noel defuses the Cuban Missile Crisis.


1963 CE

Hitchcock casts Noel as an extra in The Birds.


1963 CE

Noel is first in line to buy Mattel's new Ken doll.


1969 CE

Noel walks on the moon.


1969 CE

Noel gets in touch with his flower power at Woodstock.


1973 CE

Noel was NOT Deep Throat.


1980 CE

Noel transforms into Pac-Man.


1987 CE

Noel is hopelessly addicted to USENET.


1997 CE

Noel is one of the Spice Girls.


2004 CE

Noel signs the marriage licenses of some happy Massachusetts couples.


ALL CONTENT COPYRIGHT 2012 BY SASHA KOPF